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game. set.

April 10, 2014

so let’s be real.  i joined  and have absolutely nothing to show for it but a $75 impulse charge on my credit card (will amex reverse this charge?!) and a few new phone numbers of guys who i will never see again and/or are no longer citizens of this planet.

i viewed online dating as a last resort.  but after enduring a year of zero prospects, last resort sounded more appealing than a week long vacation at the ritz in bali.  sarah had created a profile for me months ago and on january 1, 2014 all i had to do was pound in my credit card numbers and click activate.  it took me about a week to catch the hang of how to communicate via match.  the lingo was new and i didn’t know whether i was supposed to wink or favorite or email a guy.  further, i know that i want a relationship that features pretty traditional communication gender roles – he should make the first move.  call me old fashioned in this modern dating world.

i went on my first date with a guy that was super kind but too short for my traditional height rules.  for my second date i met a super funny, witty and handsome dude who subsequently vanished (last spotted: boarding the vienna-bound orange line metro).  third time’s the charm?  not so in this failing fairy tale.  i formed a dead end textual relationship with a wisconsin native – it should be noted he is the first guy from my home state i’ve dated since high school, so maybe i’ve been spoiled/ruined by boyfriends from the remaining 49 united states?  we still text and i’m pretty sure he may as well board the vanishing vienna express.

so much for that $75.  and last resort.  and thinking that something as complex as love could be as simple as a dating website algorithm.  whenever i see those commercials touting “real members” on their “real dates”, i shake my fist at my television.  and i scan the crowd for my disappearing date.  game.  set.  match.  deactivate.

p.s.  it should be noted that i watched a lot of “sherlock” this winter and it served as great date fodder.  sherlock sure knows how to woo the ladies as the above clip proves.  if only american men had british accents and would come swinging through my window.

One Comment leave one →
  1. April 10, 2014 8:48 pm

    don’t deactivate!!!

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