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sister sister

May 29, 2013

there’s an article floating the internets right now about siblings.  aptly named the gift of siblings the article recognizes the bond between siblings who are especially close.  my relationship with my own sister is something i’ve been thinking a lot about recently.  every date i endure i have to explain my relationship with sarah.  i use her as an example when i counsel kids who want to be lawyers or politics majors or crazy wild dog owners.  as i search for a new apartment i factor in rent, nearest grocery store and proximity to sarah’s bountiful closet.  if i get stuck in traffic, i alert her so she can take an alternate route.  and she tells it to me straight when i admit i’ve been watching 14 continuous hours of felicity reruns (pick ben!  pick ben!!!!!).  when i freak out about being 28 and single and worry that i’ll never ever have kids of my own, it’s because of my relationship with my sister.  given that sarah and i have lived together during our adult lives, and by our own choice, i would say that our sisterhood is a little different from the average sibling relationship.  but, as the author points out, it’s this relationship that will probably be one of the most impactful of my entire life:

“‘siblings are the only relatives, and perhaps the only people you’ll ever know, who are with you through the entire arc of your life,’ the writer jeffrey kluger observed to salon in 2011, the year his book “the sibling effect” was published. ‘your parents leave you too soon and your kids and spouse come along late, but your siblings know you when you are in your most inchoate form.'”

i’m not really sure what inchoate means, but given the context clues i’m guessing it means siblings know you in a pure, rare and deep way.  this is no “what’s my favorite color?” relationship.  this is about understanding another person’s needs and wants and deep, dark secrets.  sarah knows mine and that’s why i have to keep her happy.  do i get angry with miss sarah?  certainly.  but do i ever wish i didn’t have a sibling?  100% no.  as mr. bruni shares, his brother “was my psychic and my spokesman, my shaman and my sherpa. with mark around, i was safe.”  and with sarah around, i have a much bigger closet.

sarah and i share the same taste in milkshakes,

then.  sarah and i share the same taste in milkshakes, frilly socks and distrust of mom behind the camera.

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now.  sarah and i share a love of lipstick that doesn’t smear, dressing like kardashians and things that sparkle.

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