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wanna be

May 11, 2013

ok, this is hilarious.  and don’t even think for one bat of a super-long, perfectly curled, glossy black gwyneth eyelash that i am not plotting this out in my head.  because i am.  because i am not, but want to be, gwyneth.

p.s.  i’m at a track meet allllll the live-long day today.  i am chasing after screaming, sex-crazed teenagers who spend their entire lives alternately shoveling food into their faces and plotting evil things to do to each other.  i will give them the signature brow no less than 26 times today.  i will have to pee in a high school locker room bathroom all day today.  i will probably be snot on and sweated on.  one of the boys may tell me he loves me again- and that would be the highlight of my day!  what would gwyneth paltrow do?  is there a green juice for this?

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