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the rock

February 15, 2013

we interrupt this regularly scheduled programming to share this bit of intellectual genius:

“the asteroid will not hit the earth,” he said. “it will not hit the space station. it’s not going to hit any of our critical satellite assets — so you don’t have to worry about losing your tv.”

dr. dante lauretta via

first funny thing.  his name is dante.  and we’re talking about a fiery inferno should this asteroid smack into the planet at 6 trillion mega-miles per hour.

second (not so) funny thing.  all we’re worried about is satellite reception so we can watch reruns of lindsay lohan’s critically panned liz & dick while eating our microwave dinners.

fear not.  i’m much more worried.  so i read all about this “asteroid near-miss” and how near a near-miss has to be to be classified as such.  rest assured that murderous ball of rock passed no closer than 17,200 miles from your precious flat screen tv.

and now back to your program.


One Comment leave one →
  1. notorious permalink
    February 15, 2013 10:28 pm

    Is it true that the asteroid was on a collision course with the Carnival cruise liner Triumph? If I hear any more whinning about that…….It was a FIRE. What do you expect the crew to do? You don’t have light in your cabin, your drinks don’t have ice, the lobster soup is cold, the pool slide isn’t working, OOHH the humanity of it all. Notorious

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